The Labrador And The Seagull

– A Danish Fairy Tale By Chrissie Christine Anderson

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, young, Chocolate Labrador named Tilly and she lived in the countryside with her grown-up sister, Dixie the Boxer and her Mummy and Daddy.

Mummy and Daddy thought that Tilly was the cuddliest and the most gorgeous Chocolate Labrador in the whole, wide world and they loved her very much. They also thought that Dixie was the prettiest and the wisest Boxer in the whole, wide world and they loved her very much.

One bright and sunny day, when all the sky was azure blue, Mummy and Daddy decided to take Tilly and Dixie to see Grenen. Now Grenen is a magical place at the very northern tip of Denmark, where the North Sea and the Baltic Sea bump into each other and make lots of scary waves. So after breakfast, they all set off in their van and found a spot to park up.

Tilly and Dixie were very excited. To get right to the very spot where the scary waves were, they had to walk a mile along a narrow sandy beach with the sea on both sides.

It was really windy and Dixie could hardly contain herself with the wind blowing in her ears and the sand between her toes, while Tilly was desperate to run free off the lead and see just how fast she could go with the wind behind her. It was very busy though, as hundreds of other people also seemed to be walking to the magical place known as Grenen – many of them in their bare feet for some reason – so Tilly had to try her hardest to be patient and wait a while before she could be let loose.

Finally, they reached the magical spot. Dixie was totally in awe and stared at the scary waves for a long time.

Then they all had their photos taken and set off back.

This was the moment Tilly had been waiting for.  Walking back along the other side of the beach where it was much quieter, she got her longed for freedom.

And what a wonderful time she had! She was sure she broke the sound barrier at least once and she also found some real delicacies to eat along the way. One was a rather tasty, decaying, mouldy, dead seagull, which she had to eat really quickly before Daddy had chance to try and take it off her. What fun! This game of ‘Eat-It-All- Before-Daddy-Can-Get-It-Off-Me’ was one she had played many times before and never tired of.

All too soon they were back at the van and on their way again.

A few bends down the road though and Tilly’s tummy began to feel  rather odd. A few bends further and all that delicious seagull was up out of Tilly’s tummy and all over the van! Tilly was really impressed with the amount of slimy, green sick she’d produced, while Daddy was really impressed with both how far she’d managed to spread it and the fact that it contained bones and other dead bird body parts. Mummy was really impressed with the smell and had to leave the van really quickly to avoid being sick herself.

Daddy set to work trying to clear it up. A whole roll of kitchen towel,  oodles of soap and hot water and a whole bottle of Febreze later, and they were on their way again and a camping spot for the night was soon found.

The night passed slowly. The dead, decaying, fishy smell lingered. Even Dixie was impressed at that.

The next morning, they planned their day.

‘I know what would be fun.’ said Mummy, ‘I think that today, we should buy some disinfectant and some more Febreze, then find a campsite with a washing machine and do some cleaning.’

‘What a good idea!’ replied Daddy, ‘We’ll have a grand time!’ So off they went.

A campsite with two washing machines in fact, was found and they set to work. Mummy stripped the fitted covers off the seats and took over both washing machines, while Daddy pulled the carpet out and took it, a scrubbing brush and some shampoo to a very big sink to give it a good seeing to. Then, Mummy got down on her hands and knees and scrubbed the van floor with a nice lemony smelling liquid.

Dixie watched on and made the occasional helpful suggestion.

A beautiful sunny afternoon and evening saw most things dry, with slightly less smell than before. All except the carpet though – that still had rather a distinctive odour to it, so Daddy rolled it up and taped it into a bin bag so it could be stored out of the way until they all got home.

And so finally – with the evening coming to a close – Mummy and Daddy sat enjoying a bottle of wine, reflecting on the jolly time they had all had that day, while Tilly and Dixie curled up together and dozed.

And still the smell lingered……

23 thoughts on “The Labrador And The Seagull

  1. Aw bless ’em, bleach may deaden the smell or try essential oils. The ones that you can add to a burner. Some are quite pungent! Hopefully you are all having great fun otherwise? Look forward to seeing loads of photos and your fantastic write ups


  2. Haha … brilliant.

    You’ve just got to love Labs, the stuff they can eat if given a chance is amazing. A mate lost a whole Wensleydale cheese once, and another Lab wolfed down the contents of a traditional lard-filled chip pan – after that, a whole Sunday roast joint is peanuts!

    Good luck with the cleaning 🙂


  3. Thank you, thank you. I shall read this excellent propaganda to the rest of the family next time they’re asking why I don’t want to have a dog!
    Are you sure that fairy tales end this way?


    1. Ok if you’re being picky, the style does kind of morph from hans christian anderson to enid blyton with a cliff-hanger…

      I feel duty bound to give your family some propoganda to use too though. How about the time she started barking like a hound from hell at 2am cos some low life was on our drive attacking my car…chased them away before too much damage was done…


  4. A chucklesome tale, reminds me of numerous disgusting doggie stories from my own canine companion of a few years back. Here’s one, he used to enjoy breaking the crust on a partially dried cowpat with his paw and then licking out the liquid inside like some kind of deluxe soft-centred doggie Quality Street. You have to love ’em.

    That Grenen place looked superb though, dead mouldy seagulls and all


    1. Makes me think of a coffee flavoured Walnut Whip that. Remember those?

      Yes, I have to say that despite the hordes (Geoff was thinking of turning back when he saw how busy it was but I said I was going even if he didn’t), it was actually quite an atmospheric place to visit. We’d seen Neil Oliver there on ‘Coast’ earlier in the year and if Neil Oliver says it’s worth a visit, then it must be……


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